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Living in a small town in Northern Colorado holds a few surprises for a city-dweller
used to the
cities in Europe and East Asia. “So, you are not bi-lingual
then, are you?”is the comment by a
staff member of the local community mediation services. For a moment, I don’t know what to say
(what, I am not bi-lingual???, I am TRI-lingual, actually, shouts an insulted voice in my head),
then I have learnt a new concept: “Bi-lingual” here means that you speak English and Spanish,
and the person I speak to represents the close to 30% of the community who speak Spanish as
their mother tongue. Sheis bi-lingual, I am not.
Working with monolingual people in the community is different again. Normally, they
notice my
accent, and then find it so comfortable that they can communicate in English with me that they
soon forget that I am not a native speaker. Quickly, and also on the basis of my looks (I am a
white Northern European) it is assumed that somehow I have a right to belong here.
These dynamics carry over into my work situations as an interculturalist. As a participant
in a
mediator training during a small group exercise, I share my unease about being considered “one
of
us” by most Anglo-Americans, because I perceive this as not in tune with my identity
(European/international) and my experiences and situation as a recent immigrant. When the
speaker for our small group summarizes the group results and the issue of immigration gets
mentioned to the whole group, all eyes turn to the woman in our small group who looks Indian
(South Asian). The fact is, her family has been living in Colorado for three generations. Ouch!
Training some internal trainers for a diversity program for a local city government,
these issues
surface again: Overall, the participants are quite unfamiliar with their own cultural blinders, be
they about being White, Latino, male, female, or American. They experience “aha”
moments during
our 2-day workshop, and bravely struggle with their thoughts, frustrations and ideals. Language
skills, both in English for Hispanics, and in Spanish for English- speaking city employees, remain a
hot topic. The sharing of different and strong views becomes a great opportunity to practice their
listening skills, and to overcome some fear of conflict.
At the end of the training, the participants feel that charting a path towards cross-cultural
communication that is neither silent or frustrated withdrawal nor hurt or angry attack is still a big
challenge. At the same time, there is hope that progress can be made by using some of their new
facilitation and communication tools. Some of the frustration about not being able to build bridges
has shifted into a more confident yearning for respectful, honest and empowered ways of relating.
I share this yearning, as I begin this New Year.
With best wishes,
Sabine
Sabine Amend is a
former SIETAR Europa Board member and continues to support SE by working on the
communications committee. Reach her at dialog@kultur-und-management.com
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